I Could Kiss Jack Black on the Lips

Not this Jack Black...

but this Jack Black

As a Colorado native and the owner of some severely dry, sensitive Irish skin, I have developed over the years what I call an affinity, though some may say addiction, obsession, or borderline hoarding tendency, for lip gloss, Chap-Stick, lip balm, you name it.  If it is not lipstick, but still goes on your lips, I will spend endless dollars buying it, typically only to wear it once or twice, decide it is slimy or drying or sticky or doesn't last long enough, and then banish it to a giant Zip-loc bag that resides in the back of my bathroom cabinet.  That bag probably contains at least a thousand dollars worth of lip accouterments that I should probably just throw away, but won't because I feel guilty about the whole thousand dollars thing. 

I was out for dinner and drinks with my best friend and my sister one night and we got on the subject of my lip gloss problem.  I defensively pointed out, while many of hers were probably dark lipsticks and fancy lip-glasses or the like, that if my best friend and I were to empty the lip-related contents of our purses right there at the table amidst the beer glasses and leftover nacho bits, her collection would surely rival mine.  So we did.  We had a duel of the lip gloss.  My purse contained 31 lip items (one for each day of the month maybe?).  My best friend had approximately 25.  So I like to think we are typical, if not completely average. 

Three of mine were cherry Chap-Sticks and the rest were items in the $10-20 dollar range.  So not even counting the Zip-loc of doom in my bathroom, I had several hundred dollars worth of lip gloss on my actual person.  And the only ones I have ever used more than a couple of times were the Chap-sticks because I could never find what I wanted in a lip gloss.  But I kept trying, kept searching for that holy grail of lipwear that would meet my needs.  And I think I just found it yesterday.

My monthly Sephora order came in the mail yesterday.  I was working from home, so I was able to scamper to the door and retrieve it just as soon as our big, old dog finished trying to maim the UPS man limb from limb through the window.  I have a Sephora problem that is directly associated with my lip gloss problem and made worse by my flat hair problem and my wrinkly forehead issue.  I probably drop $200 a month there.  I am not sure if I can stop until I have tried everything they offer.  And they offer a lot. Oh, also, please do not tell my husband that. I make my own money, and we are both "allowed" to do whatever we want with our fun money each month, but the look of disdain that would accompany his finding out that I spend so much on makeup and lip gloss and mousse each month would be upsetting to me.  So it is my secret.  My super amazing fun little secret!

As an addition to my usual order of Living Proof mousse and Fresh Black Tea Serum this month, I was tempted with a last minute offer of two Jack Black lip glosses for $10 at checkout.  Because I have never tried it before, and because I was curious about what I thought was a men's company making lip gloss, and because I am a marketer's dream-$$$-cha-ching-sucker-poster child, I accepted the offer and added the unassuming little buggers to my cart.  Little did I know that my life would change within mere moments of receiving my package.

I giddily opened my Sephora box yesterday, pulling out my usual goods, setting aside and then tearing into the new lip glosses first.  I received two flavors of Jack Black Intense Therapy Lip Balm in the box. Black Tea-Blackberry and Grapefruit-Ginger.  I tentatively applied some of the Grapefruit and waited for one of the following offenders, typical of many lip balms:

• the slime factor
• the sticky factor
• the nasty-taste factor
• the comes-out-way-too-fast-or-not-at-all factor
• the smells-like-crap factor 

I experienced none of the above on first application.  So I sat there at my computer doing actual writing work for the man and waited for some of the other lesser known lip balm issues. 
I waited for it to be gone within ten seconds of application (Kiehl's)
I waited for it to dry the hell out of my lips (also Kiehls, plus Smashbox, Bobby Brown, Clinique, MAC,and about a trillion others)
It did neither of those.  So, an hour later, when my lips still felt soft and glossed but not slimy, I decided to go look in the mirror.  What I found was that gorgeous matte-shine that you get from Kiehl's, but it had lasted more than a millisecond.  My lips looked totally kissable and moist without being too shiny.  I then experimented by adding a little lip liner for some color. I wanted to kiss myself.  And it lasted for three hours, even with drinking from my water bottle the entire time!  THREE!

I liked the Grapefruit flavor way more than the Blackberry, but I am not really a berry person, so if you are, I think it would work out just fine for you.  I am excited to order the other flavors like mint, lemon chamomile, and vanilla-lavender straight away.  Keep in mind, there is no taste to it, but it smells great. Also, they are all SPF 25!  (their website is getjackblack.com)

While I realize that this is a LOT of babbling to do about lip gloss, I think many Colorado women would agree about the importance of finding one that works, looks good, and holds up to our ridiculous dry weather, not to mention the skiing, biking, etc that we all do (I am assuming here based on wearing it to swim laps for an hour and still having some on afterwards). This is the best stuff I have ever had on my lips, and believe me, I am an EXPERT. That sounded kinda gross, but you know what I mean.  So barring any rash or irritation that I could experience a few days down the road (those labels always say discontinue use if you experience rash or irritation...I'm like ok, twist my arm) I think I have found my new best friend. My purse is going to be much lighter.

Oh, and I am obviously too new on this block to be receiving any sponsors or freebies for promoting products.  I am just seriously THAT into lip balm.  Kisses!!