This is a Not a Dramatic Pregnancy Blog. Except for the Parts About Pregnancy and Drama.

This did not start as a pregnancy blog,but it could very well turn into one, seeing as how I am (guess what?!) three months pregnant.  I am not sure why I haven't felt the need to post until now; I suppose it has been a lot to process.  That and the fact that the last few weeks have been spent feeling the shittiest I have ever felt in my entire life, all day every day.  Who wants to hear about that?  Not even other pregnant ladies.  And definitely not non-pregnant people, including my husband and anyone else still capable of eating foods that don't come from the children's menu.  So I guess I just keep trying to keep all the bitching in, but then it comes out in big piles of bitching. Maybe if I just kept up low-grade bitching at all times, I would be better off. 

Honestly, while I have felt, and still do feel, so terrible that I can barely function at work or keep up on household chores, I also do feel very lucky.  This happened very fast for us, faster than we'd anticipated by far, and I am so excited to become a mom. 

I feel like P may have different thoughts, but he is just one to take some time to warm up to things. Right now, I feel like he wants nothing to do with me, which is actually kind of heartbreaking because I am scared and vulnerable and kind of need him right now, and I wish I could get him to explain what is bugging him.  I realize that going down to once-every-1.5-week sex probably sucks, but then when I go to try to initiate it to make sure that he is getting his needs met, like this morning's back and butt-rub.  He ignores my touch, and then hops in the shower to jack off.  And there I sit, useless and chubby and queasy. Just a baby incubator for a baby that maybe only I want, worrying about horrible things like cheating and divorce.

Bleh. Drama, I guess.  I hate drama, and now I am creating it on my own blog, which should be drama-free to match my spectacularly drama-free lifestyle. I guess I just thought things were supposed to be really happy between us right now, and instead, I am just worried about it all.  I guess that is what pregnancy does to you. Makes you worried and sad about what is probably nothing, but what could be something. I'm sure it will pass.

More happy, fun, hilarious pregnancy and life stories to follow. No more of this sad sack crap. I mean, seriously, I could be Octomom. Now that is drama.